Still Angry

I'm still angry over what someone said to me, bashing what I could do and saying I'm not doing what I should be when I feel like I'm doing awesome.

And I'm even more angry that when I told a friend that, she said "you have to stand on your own feet already and stop wanting other people to help you."

I tell her all the time about the help I want and get, because I like telling her about the things that went well and the interactions I had that day with the people in the school we have in common. But I get a pit in my stomach wondering that I am not doing it all myself and does that make me inferior, when all the time I am refusing to allow any administrators help me and thinking up these brilliant weird plans myself and saying I want to do them when no one believes they will work, even me. I know that I could be doing more assertively, like the student whose mom I didn't call and the other student I didn't conference until her mom asked me to. But I'm a first year teacher, I'm still nervous about many things, and I am doing so much that I want to feel good when I come home and celebrate it every day, not feel yucky and angry like this.

I am meeting with a parent tomorrow since her daughter is a monster, and I asked for the meeting, though I haven't spoken to the child individually since in a class of 16 for 40 minutes, I just don't have time. I know I will get told off on that, but I am doing my best and I just want to say that I'm keeping my head up, if not doing all the many things that everyone else is doing...